Joy and Change. The Inspired Journal

Inspired musings from Andrea’s Journal

September 19, 2024

Today, I’m reflecting on two glorious weeks spent in France—a much-needed break that, embarrassingly, was my first in nearly eighteen months and the first vacation with my partner since 2019. If there’s one thing this trip proved, it’s how an overdue vacation can reveal just how disregulated your mind and body might be.

I started my trip in Provence with Fabienne Frederickson—an entrepreneur, my business coach, and my friend. Side note: if you’re interested, check out her podcast, The Fabienne Show on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Our time in Provence was a sensory delight—the smell of fresh produce, lavender, and cappuccinos, the soft feel of cashmere scarves at the market, the sound of the local village coming to life, and, of course, the taste of champagne and rosé. Every scene felt like it was pulled from a Monet painting. It was truly magical.

However, as magical as it was, it also made me think about a startling reality faced by many women, especially in the U.S. According to a study by Ipsos, while 80% of women admit that doing something for themselves—like enjoying a hobby or taking a walk—helps them feel relaxed, one-third of those surveyed spend 30 minutes or less each day on such activities. In contrast, 76% of American women spend up to 10 hours daily caring for their partners, children, or both. One in five women even spends over 10 hours a day caring for others!

20% of women surveyed also admitted that taking even an hour for themselves would make them feel selfish, guilty, or anxious. Married women were four times more likely to feel selfish about this than unmarried women (81% compared to 19%). The pressures are even higher for mothers—women with just one child were six times as likely to feel guilty about prioritizing their own needs compared to women without children (71% vs. 12%).

And according to Healthy Women, this guilt often leads to neglect of their own health. A staggering 78% of women reported putting off taking care of themselves or scheduling health appointments because they are too busy managing the health needs of their family members.

These statistics hit home. While I was in France, I realized that this pattern applies to me as well. The experience made me reflect on how I can bring more pleasure into my life—both personally and professionally. I realized that I wasn’t immediately sure what, beyond work, gave me joy. It was a wake-up call and a challenge to rethink what I was simply tolerating in my life.

So, I took on an exercise of identifying areas of my life that I tolerate—and of those, figuring out which ones I have the power to change. I recommend this exercise to everyone, whether you own a business or not. What are you tolerating in your life that you can change? For me, the list was long—over 80 things, from ripped bed sheets to tattered bath towels to my dog’s refusal to stop relieving himself in the house, on occasion. Many of these things were within my control, and addressing them would improve my overall comfort and well-being.

During the second week in France, I met up with my husband in Paris to celebrate his birthday. It was his first trip to Europe, which made the experience even more special. Inspired by my reflections, I initiated a conversation with him about what he might be tolerating in life. While it wasn’t the most comfortable conversation at first, it became clear that recognizing the things we can change doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate the things we have. On the contrary, it’s about acknowledging our agency and improving our lives, which ultimately benefits us and those around us.

This trip taught me a valuable lesson: life’s pleasures can and should be prioritized, something that is perhaps not as emphasized in American culture. In France, the pace of life—complete with aperitifs, leisurely meals, and human connection—serves as a reminder of how we might address some of the critical mental health issues that affect many people across industries and generations. How can we apply these lessons to improve our mental well-being and care for those around us?

As I get back into my routine, I plan to replace those tattered towels, fix those sheets, and hire a dog walker to help my dog build better habits. Whether you live in the U.S. or elsewhere, how can identifying and addressing your intolerables empower you to create better habits and decisions in your life?

Thank you for joining me on this enlightening journey. If you resonate with these ideas, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What steps have you taken to balance the joy in your life with continuous improvement? How do you nurture yourself while also embracing life’s challenges?

Remember: you have the power to create a life that resonates with your heart. Until then, embrace the changes that empower you, and move toward a brighter, more joyful future!

With 💜,

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Continue this conversation by tuning in to Episode #027 of The InspirED Podcast, From Tolerance to Transformation: Embracing Joy and Change.