Breaking Glass Ceilings While Dodging the Shards

While women are steadily rising in the business world and making historic strides as corporate executives, trailblazing entrepreneurs, and empowered leaders, 78% of women are also no stranger to workplace microaggressions or experiencing “different treatment” on the basis of their sex. Despite succeeding in leadership roles, women are not always respected for their position of authority, predominantly by male coworkers or superiors that see the patriarchy being destabilized and are disquieted. 

Spotting Microaggressions

Gender-based microaggressions are subtle and sometimes unintentional comments or actions that convey bias or attempt to subordinate women. Due to their quick-passing nature, microaggressions can be difficult to spot, and may be brushed under the rug as “office banter” or “just jokes”. However, these jokes and jabs can have a lasting effect on the self-esteem, personal safety, and workplace efficacy of the women involved. 
What exactly does this look like in a workplace environment?

Undermining Expertise

• Automatically assuming that women on a team are in subordinate roles and vice versa.
• Diverting to male figures for guidance, even if they are less qualified than female coworkers or stepping outside their role. 
• Assuming that women lack the background for certain undertakings or require extra guidance (ie: “mansplaining”).

Exclusion 

• Leaving female coworkers out of informal networks or social gatherings due to their gender (“Boys’ Club” attitude).
• Treating female members of the team as a “privileged minority” and not equal contributors to the workplace community. 
• Making jokes or references meant to exclude or undermine women in the room. 

Inappropriate References to Personal Life

• Frequent questions about a woman’s romantic status: “How does your husband feel about your job?”, “Still trying to find Mr. Right?”, “When do you have time to date??”.
• Accusations that a woman is ignoring maternal duties by working, or would be better equipped as a stay-at-home mother.
  *Editor’s Note: Some of these may seem like innocuous smalltalk depending on a person’s tone. But ask yourself: “Do the men in my position get asked the same questions?”

Mislabeling Communication

• Labeling a woman who is assertive, direct, or confident in her expertise as “aggressive”.
• Labeling a woman who is passionate, empathetic, and morally driven as “over-emotional”. 
• Otherwise implying that a woman is unsuitable for her job based on her disposition as a woman, not her skills or expertise. 

Sexist behaviors, whether outwardly brash or brief and passive aggressive, affect women in every corner of the workforce. This looks different in every environment, but the lasting impact remains the same. 

These interactions might look like:

The only female assistant manager at a restaurant finds her invitation to the company golfing night conveniently “lost in the mail”. When probing a coworker about the situation, he responds that they simply “Didn’t think she’d have fun with all the shop talk”. 

A litigator opens her performance review, stunned to find vague comments that her tone makes her appear “cold” and “unlikable”. 

A woman running for office receives high levels of media scrutiny regarding her children and previous marriage. 

“How ridiculous!” she says. No news outlet has ever run a piece about her male running mate’s divorce or paternal responsibilities.

The Male Gaze: Workplace Edition

male gaze (noun) – a manner of portraying women that empowers the male while sexualizing and/or diminishing the female.

The male gaze is an incredibly outdated lens that is still pervasive everywhere: in films, advertising, popular culture, and business. The workplace male gaze often seeks to place women inside an archaic box, often in the role of the demure receptionist, or the bubbly assistant that beautifies the office without speaking her mind. This is not the reality: women are not the cheerleaders of their male coworkers, and are not applying for the position of Beauty, Charm, and Agreeability. 

Now, many women may receive the advice to “act more like men” in order to get ahead professionally: “Just treat them how they treat you!” While this is well-meaning advice and is a great motivator for some, it is still steeped in patriarchy. The masculine is still dominating in this scenario, no matter who is performing it, and it still commonly backfires against women. Even simply mirroring the demeanor or mannerisms of a male colleague is a step outside the male gaze’s box, and may fetch a label as unwarranted, hostile, aggressive, off-putting, or—the most abhorrent of all—b*tchy. 

The issue here is not women’s behavior and what they could be doing differently, it’s the lens in which the behavior is perceived. Why should men’s aggression be rewarded while women’s assertiveness is pathologized? What is it about a woman’s perspective or role in leadership that makes male colleagues so defensive and uncomfortable? 

Responding to Bias

When responding to a microaggression or other instance of gender bias, there are many  natural responses that may move to the forefront. Instinct might be to shut down and just forget about the occurrence, or to fight fire with fire. Maybe self-doubt creeps in: could there be any truth to what was was said? Or worse yet: Do I deserve this?

Sometimes competing thoughts come into play: “If I act how I want to act, are they proven right? If I act how they want me to act, am I staying true to myself?” These are delicate balances to strike, and should not be left up to an individual to manage without support.  

Our primary power comes with correcting the narratives that incite instances of gender discrimination. No matter how veiled or seemingly innocuous, this behavior does not have a place in the professional world—or anywhere, for that matter. 

Despite our best efforts, systemic change doesn’t happen overnight. Give yourself the freedom to acknowledge that biased comments and actions are not normal. Let awkward silences lapse and unsavory attitudes speak for themselves. Focus on setting the example for the kind of leadership you want. Remember that discrimination always reflects the gaze of the perpetrator and not the reality of the situation. This is not your fight alone to solve.  Ultimately, it’s you who has the choice in how you respond, and how much power you’ll allow their words and actions to hold.  

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As a predominantly female team with our own share of experiences in male-dominated fields, Kandula is right there with you! We know how complex it can be to step into your power as a woman in business. In our latest episode of the InspirED Podcast, founder and CEO Andrea De La Cerda shares her experiences with rising above the male gaze. Listen here!